Scary Bosses

Halloween is almost upon us and it’s time to think about scary frightful things. How about a scary terrifying boss? Have you ever had one or more importantly, are you one? Let’s think about what a scary boss can do. First, they are probably a bit of a dictator and using their authority rather than their leadership skills to lead, and motivate their employees. Leading by fear doesn’t work in the long term. Yes, it might get results in the short term, but when an employee has a boss that continuously leads by fear, eventually the person will hide from when the boss comes into the room. People stand behind closed doors to complain and “discuss” their boss. Thus, productivity goes down as well as employee morale. The scary intimidating boss diminishes the effect of his staff.
If you are that scary daunting boss, then it is time to look at your behaviors and set some goals to change them. It won’t happen overnight, but an awareness of your need to improve will help you to change your ineffective behaviors. When you forget and behave poorly, don’t beat yourself up; just think about how you can do better the next time. If you have someone on your team who falls into the category of diminishing his or her team or coworkers, then help that person identify the behaviors and develop specific goals to change them. If that person has trouble acknowledging their inappropriate behavior, it might be time to bring in a coach to help. If you are that scary person and you are having difficulties changing your behavior, you might need to do the same.

Leading with Personal Power

I have a cat named Little Kitty that isn’t very nice. She has been known to bite people that she is not used to and we keep a close eye on her or put her in the kennel when strangers are over. Not only is she naughty with people, but she can terrorize animals as well. Even Buddy, a big chocolate lab, keeps his distance from her. My son’s French bulldog was over and she trapped him in Buddy’s kennel. One day, I came into the room and heard a little squeak. I looked over and there he sat, way in the back of the kennel with Little Kitty sitting there just daring him to try to come out. I felt so sorry for him. So how does all this relate to what I do? It reminds me of the way some people try to lead people. They lead by force using their authority rather than their personal power. They don’t realize that the more force they use, the less people respect them. They don’t realize that they actually decrease production because people hide when they hear them coming. People may pretend to like them, but in actuality, they despise them. They don’t want to set them off so they walk on egg shells trying not to annoy them. It can be a very stressful environment and really is not fair to co-workers and subordinates. On the other hand, people that lead with their personal power get much better results. People enjoy being around them and working for them. We all would rather deal with these people than the other. One of my favorite sayings is that some people make others happy when they leave a room and some people make others happy when they enter a room. What type of person are you?

What Do You Want?

Do you know what you want? I mean do you really know what you want in specifics. I don’t mean a general idea; I mean specifics that you can imagine in your mind. You can close your eyes and see yourself already in possession of what you want. Unfortunately, most people don’t know what they want. Deciding what we want is the hard part. Actually getting it is easy in comparison. So, what do you really want? You might start out with a dream list. Sit down with a paper and pen and start writing everything you want. If money is not an issue and time is not an issue and you can have anything, what do you want? You might sit down with a cup of coffee or a cup of hot chocolate in your favorite chair and just start writing. Or go sit by a lake in peace and quiet. Go someplace where you can relax and just let the thoughts flow without distractions. Let inspiration take over and listen to your inner voice. Inspiration comes from the Latin word ‘inspire’ which means, “in spirit” or being in a direct communion with God. Being inspired is communion with God through intuition.
So take some time. I have several clients that struggle with what they really want. When they finally realize what it is, it comes as a relief…a weight lifted off their shoulders. Once the decision is made, the rest is easy. What do you want?

I had a birthday last week. It was my first one with the social networking sites. It was so much fun and I learned a couple of lessons. First, I was always afraid to wish someone a happy birthday early. By waiting, I would often miss the birthday completely. I realized that early is better than not at all. I got a few early birthday wishes and was thrilled to be remembered. Second, I loved to be recognized (even if I had to get older in the process). I learned years ago that people want to be acknowledged. If we could always pretend that people have a big sign across their chest that says “Make me feel important!” we would get along easier with people and we would often times make their day. Try it. You’ll be sending out positive vibrations and those vibrations will come back to you. The person will remember you as they are recalling events of the day and will think: “That was really nice.” They may even share those thoughts with someone else so you get a double whammy of positive thoughts. Finally, and probably the least important take away, is that there are some really neat tools that can help you make someone’s day a little bit happier. I will have to explore those tools more at a later date (so much technology, so little time).
In closing, I urge you to go out and make someone’s day a little brighter. Birthday wishes are great and they roll along only once a year. Pretend the people you meet are having a birthday every day.

A Walk with Insight (and Buddy)

Tonight I took a walk. I was kind of lazy and didn’t really want to go and I realized that Buddy our beautiful big chocolate lab would be disappointed. He loves to run through the woods and really burn off his energy. He gets so excited when he hears the noise of my boots as I walk in my hiking boots. He realizes that I only wear my hiking boots when we’re going hiking. When we leave Buddy gallops up the trail then he runs back to me. Then he runs up the trail and so on for three or four times. I swear he has a full grin on his face. It makes me think that he is thanking me in advance for the walk he knows we are going to take. I have a couple of take away thoughts from my outings with Buddy. First, it makes me happy to make him happy. I heard on one of the morning talk shows that a survey showed that helping others makes us happy. I agree…even if Buddy isn’t a person. Second, I thought that Buddy could be considered my walking coach. He gets me to do things that I know I should do and yet don’t always want to do. He holds me accountable and I don’t want to let him down. Next, the happy exuberance that Buddy radiates (his action) causes a positive reaction in me and that positive reaction stays with me long after the walk. I can think of the memories and bring myself back to that positive energy days later. Finally, Buddy’s gratitude makes me want to take him for a walk again tomorrow. He shows genuine appreciation and his happy “Thank you” will be rewarded another day

We're Living Longer, Let's Live Better

A few days ago I was in my bank and as I walked by an office, I overheard a customer say to one of the bank owners: "We're living longer, let's live better." I thought he made a great point. So how do you live better? What constitutes "better" to you and how are you going to make it better? What do you need to do today that will affect your tomorrow in a positive way. Often times we know we should do something and then we think...I'll start tomorrow. One day leads to another and then one week leads to another and so on. Time really does fly by.



Take some time to evaluate where you are today. Then look at where you want to be in the future. Is your current lifestyle going to get you to where you want to be? If not, what do you need to do to change the road you are heading down? Look at all areas of your life. Some areas you might look at are mental, social, physical, financial, family, and spiritual.



It makes sense that you need to nourish and exercise your body to have it healthy years from now. It also makes sense to do the same for your mind. If you need help in any of the areas, get it. Whatever you invest in yourself today will make a difference tomorrow. A coach can help.

Humor Gets Results

This past week, I attended two separate workshops. The first one was in my current field. I’ve been a certified business coach for the last seven years. I belong to a wonderful company in which there are approximately 600 of “me” throughout the United States and Internationally. We had our quarterly training and I was honored to be asked to facilitate a session, but that is not what this article is about. I am a member of the Corporate Mastermind group and we had a speaker at our Mastermind Session that was excellent. He used humor in his presentation, and he used it very well to bring home his point. He directed his humor at himself rather than laughing at others and in the process; we all laughed and learned together. His point was: “If you get knocked down, get back up.”

The second workshop was in my previous field. My background is healthcare and I come from the lab. Again, we had one speaker, in particular, that used humor in his presentation. He is also a stand-up comedian and a former hospital administrator. Now that is a combination that obviously goes together. Again, he used humor directed at himself, to drive home his points. One of his points was to be careful because humor can hurt and be very demoralizing to others when directed at others. Remember, both speakers directed their humor at themselves. Both speakers chose to look at the positive rather than the negative and that changed their own lives and the lives of the people and coworkers around them.

Our current situation in life is the result of all that has gone on before. Remember that we control our thoughts, negative or positive. Our thoughts cause our feelings, negative or positive. Our feelings cause our actions which causes a reaction and thus, our results. If we don’t like our results, then we need to change our thoughts. Humor can help us do that.

Most of us are aware that laugher results in a chemical reaction in the brain that makes us feel better. Try it. Just start laughing with a huge belly laugh. Pretty soon we are laughing because we are laughing. Laugh for a few minutes then assess how you feel. I bet you feel better. It is a scientific fact that our immune system functions better when we are in a positive frame of mind. We’re able to fight off disease more effectively and prevent many chronic long term illnesses. Not only will we feel better immediately, we may live longer and enjoy that life more. We might think we’ll die of embarrassment if someone sees us, but aren’t the outcomes worth it?